Don't Drink the Kool Aid

So for the record I hate Tennessee summers. They are humid and muggy. I would have never survived back in Civil War times with the petticoat and layers of lace and fabric. I would be the crazy lady living on the edge of town because she refused to wear the proper clothes.

Today was particular humid and in the branch we have 2 AC units going at full blast at all times. I also have a personal fan for extra comfort. Today, I drank all 4 water bottles that I had and was still thirsty. So I asked my Unit Partner Ron if he wanted me to get him something to drink at the store. He told me that he bought a jug of lemonade yesterday and put it in the fridge in the break room. So I thought BRILLIANT! I will have me a nice glass of lemonade. So I went back to the break room in search of the lemonade. I open up the cold fridge and the angels begin to sing (I know too dramatic.) So I downed a glass of lemonade in no time. I drank it so fast that I only saw that it was yellow. I didn’t taste anything but a cold refreshing liquid tingling down my throat. So I filled up another glass and went back to my desk.

I started looking at lemonade it was the color of a highlighter and a tennis ball. It actually matched one of the Randstad colors that is painted on our back wall. I laughed and thought it must be a Gatorade brand. Fast forward twenty minutes…Ron wants some lemonade too. So he goes to the break room. The phone rings and it is for Ron, so I go to the back and see Ron pouring lemonade from a carton. I am puzzled. I have been drinking out of a jug. I question him about the carton and the jug. I thought the carton was milk. He started laughing. This was not a good sign. He said, “Oops! I should have told you about the sisters (the two women who work in the branch with us) and how they NEVER throw anything out.” He had to take his call. So I examined the jug, it was in an old milk jug. Which at first glance seeing the word MILK, I wanted to throw up.

So I go to the front of the office to question one of the sisters. Ginger had no idea what it was. The milk jug said 03/18 with no year. Another reason I’m scared is because they live on farms and bring the most random stuff in. So I immediately started imagining cows, pigs, and whatever other animals that are found on Old McDonald’s farm and if their pee would be highlighter yellow color. Ron comes out of the break room and said that I need to find out the date it was placed in there because they are infamous for leaving things in the fridge for over a year.

I immediately started to sweat and have headache and stomach pains. They are all laughing at this point, but I felt like I was going to die. I don’t want to die this way. So if you don’t hear from me… I have gone to the dark side because I drank the lemonade/poison at work.

Lesson Learned: Never drink something unless you know what it is, who brought it, and what date it expired. Word to the wise; don’t trust anything that is highlighter yellow. It can only lead to bad things.